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Agile Humor – Words To Live By

Agilewashing – A waterfall shop that throws a scrum or two onto their schedule to seem cool. The Agile equivalent of a veneer, also known as “all hat, no cattle”. Agillectomy – Removal of a development...

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Agile Humor – Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

THE BUSINESS ANALYST I have twelve meetings today, I don’t have time to get into the whole user story. But I can tell you it involves a rooster on a distributed team. SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER So the...

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A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development – I’ll Take Agile for $1,000, Alex…

A: 8-track tapes; sleeves on wedding gowns; heavy up-front requirements. Q: What is nostalgia? A: Data storage costs; mortgage industry headcount; development project documentation. Q: What is...

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A Marketer’s Guide To Agile – You Know You’re An Agile Wannabe When…

1. Your dress code prohibits hoodies – a key requirement of Agile. 2. You consider yourself an Agile centrist – that Manifesto sounds kinda socialist. 3. You keep a copy of the project requirements in...

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Agile Humor – The Definition Of Done

The CMO: When the new functionality reduces the bounce rate from 40% to 4%. The CIO: Done? When’s the release, 11:45? 11:46. The PR Director: 11:45? I told ClickZ and TechCrunch it went live last...

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Agile Humor – New Certifications

The brilliant Peter Saddington, a/k/a AgileScout, posted a wickedly funny April 1st announcement of a Certified Agile Blogger course. Yep, April Fool! Read it, it’s great fun. Since I blog about Agile...

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Agile Humor – More Words to Live By

Buristic Review – An exercise to gain heuristic insight that will be rejected by a bureaucrat because the research didn’t come from his team. Merital Raise – A merit-based pay increase for spending...

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Agile Humor – Knock knock…

Knock knock. Who’s there? Processes and tools. Processes and tools who? See, I told you he was Agile! Knock knock. Who’s there? The user. The user who? Yup, we’re at Microsoft. Knock knock. Who’s...

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Agile Humor – Still More Definitions

Testing Phase – Period that elapses from a cheery “Sure we can make that change” to a sign on the back of your chair that says “ADD IT TO PHASE 2″. Aggressive Deliverable – You’ll get there with some...

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Agile Humor – More Agile Haiku

yin and yang we’re not more like Hatfield and McCoy pair programming blows sorry I was wrong for coding “Hank’s a tool” see it’s commented out crude no elegance still it pains me to admit your code...

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Agile Humor – More Agile Drinks

The Scope Creep Gin and tonic. Wait, can you add some bitters to that? Oh, and can the tonic be in a separate glass? I’ll have it over at that table instead. And can you bring some peanuts with that?...

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Agile Humor – The Six Scariest Words

What are the six scariest words in the English language? “Is that what we agreed on?”

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Agile Humor – Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? – Ad Agency Edition

Data Analytics Cell 1 [Side of the Road A] Attrition = -1 Cell 2 [Side of the Road B] Acquisition = +1 Net Gain = 0 Key Drivers; Insufficient Sample Size, More Data Needed Creative She didn’t. Chicken...

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A Marketer’s Guide to Agile a Development – Who Said It:

When it comes to meetings, meanings of common phrases differ depending who’s talking; “So that’s the problem in a nutshell. Thoughts?” – “I’d like to hear your opinion on how I might approach the...

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Agile Humor – Top Ten Perks Of Being Women In Tech

10) There’s never a line for the Ladies’ Room. Like, ever. 9) Clearly, your easy access to the facilities more than makes up for your 87-cents-on-the-dollar salary differential. 8) Dudes over age 30...

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Agile Humor – Annoying Your Colleagues 101

Here are a few handy tips to annoy the bejeezus out of your co-workers in an open-office configuration: 1) If a topic’s worth discussing, it’s worth discussing on speaker phone. Bonus points if you’re...

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A Marketer’s Guide to Agile Development – What They Mean…

What they say: “Help me understand this requirement.” What they mean: “Drop this requirement. I’m launching a Kickstarter campaign to fund the bribe I’ll offer you to drop this requirement.” What they...

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Agile Humor – And Still More Agile Drinks

Minimum Viable Moscow Mule Vodka, lime juice and ginger beer drunk warm from a paper cup in Sprint 7. The ice isn’t scheduled to happen til Sprint 8, and the copper mug was cut from the budget. Really...

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AGILE HUMOR – WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? (GDPR EDITION)

Data Protection Officer Forget the chicken. It’s her right. CFO  With a €20 Million penalty, we can live with the mystery. CMO Can we still tell it’s a chicken? Maybe it’s a rooster. I’m so confused....

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